::Feel Your Hunger::

Without rushing.

We don’t talk about hunger, both that of others and of our own. Yet, like the feelings of anger or sorrow, hunger has love in its center.

When the holy days of All Saints, All Souls, and Day of the Dead (Día de los Muertos) roll around, I put fingers of one hand on the wrist of another and my pulsating artery reminds me not only of my mortality but also of my opportunity to live an eternal kind of life. The beat that we feel beneath our skin is the palpitating life of our ancestors, who lived and loved back then, and are now living and loving through us.

This is when I recall my favorite aunt, Ferzata Čengić, who was a mystic if I’ve ever known one. One of the things she taught me about was hunger.

I remember the month of Ramadan when I was 7. I wanted to be like her—strong, kind, and raptured by joy. Most importantly to a boy, I aspired to self-control. Ever since I saw Bruce Lee stand so still and so focused, I knew I needed it. My first test, I imagined, was being able to fast during the month of Ramadan.

Fasting sounded awesome to me, something akin to wielding a sword as a Jedi or meditating as Siddhartha (although I did not know about Jedis and Siddhartha at the time).

“If you want to fast,” she said, “I have a small patch of fabric.”

“What?”

“I can sew this patch to your shirt. It will be as if you are fasting. And even if you have to eat during Ramadan, because you are a child, you are, actually, fasting! Your fasting counts.”

“Nooo? Really?”

Then she added, “Prophet Muhammad said so.”

“Wow,” I thought, “Yeah, Auntie Ferzata, do it!”

“You can eat, but remember,” she said as she worked her needle, “Every day, take one moment and ::feel your hunger:: without rushing.”

Feel my hunger without rushing? Why?

For decades now, I have been a student of fasting. Fasting dramatically increased my free and focused time. It helped me understand my body. It expanded my imagination, helped me develop patience, and, of course, helped me lose weight. Leonard Cohen helped me link fasting to romantic passion. It grounded my sermons about Adam and Eve eating from the tree, or about the Eucharist’s bread and wine, teaching me what it means to live in the body on earth. I can also say that my little obsession with fasting has helped me become a better cook. Twice, I fasted for nine days, indulging in one of those spiritual extreme sports that teenagers need to grow up.

Yet, my aunt’s words, “feel your hunger without rushing,” have been more than just about fasting.

Hunger equips our hearts with empathy and instigates action.

Hunger awakens.

There’s a bigger world out there with other human beings like me, in need of my help, and me in need of theirs. When hungry, we have a bodily experience of the other.

We humans are hungry beings. We cannot survive without life’s welcoming hand. Whoever said “There are no free lunches” has forgotten their uterine experience, mother’s nipples, and (easier to recall) thousands of free lunches ever since, including the one someone harvested, transported, and prepared this morning. Life has taken care of us, and it will continue to do so, and it is inviting us to be a part of its power in the world.

Most of us prefer not to discuss hunger. We mention it sometimes. We don’t want to be with it, let alone dwell on it. We regard it as a nuisance that must be obliterated, a colossal mistake, something to avoid discussing in parenting, politics, and everything in between.

I remember how it felt to walk into Auntie Ferzata’s kitchen, the moist warmth emanating from Trhana, a fermented dough soup. The seductive, pungent scent spreading from a big pan of Popara, and the calming aroma of freshly pulled carrots in the basket on the floor. And, sometimes, coming from playing outside with her boys and my cousins, a tiny spoon with rose jelly paired with a glass of cold water welcoming us in.

And no, Prophet Mohammad never said that thing.

But, if he were to stand next to my auntie, the gentle Prophet would say it right there and then, totally nodding his head and saying yes, yes, yes, you little fasting Jedi! Yes, I said that. Feel your hunger for a moment, and your fasting will be legit!

Before making any decisions about how to spend your time, energy, and money each day, week, or year, allow yourself to feel a sting of hunger. But, this time, don’t rush it. Feel another through your hunger. Let it press you and oppress you.

Let your hungry body guide you to find meaning, joy, justice, and beauty in the life that welcomes you. Think of all the powerful ways you can use your life force to send your love into the future.

Thank you, Auntie Ferzata.