Control Cycles
Please excuse my self-indulgent photo gallery below. There's a story here.
I never set out to control anyone.
But I loved control—dressed in good clothes, passion, and strategy.
1990
Pastor intern with a mind and a plan.
Not shouting, not shaming.
Just setting people free.
Someone had to do it.
1995
Pastor turned leader.
Ran things with drive and purpose.
Controlled people with vision, conviction, and fun.
It looked inspired, but it felt heavy.
2000
Burned out quietly.
No public collapse, just... depletion.
Always having something to say.
Wondering, "Why does doing what I love feel like this?"
2005
Left religion, started a nonprofit.
Heart poured into the mission.
Built programs.
Gripping the slippery reins.
2010
Crashed and burned out again.
Working harder.
Still in control.
Crashed and burned out again.
2015
Resurrection: Became a have-it-together organizational consultant.
Traded community for corporations, rituals for frameworks, and art for planning decks.
Back in control (this time in a business suit).
Depleted. Again.
2020
Shift.
Slowed down enough to realize:
Leading is like breathing.
Became a leadership and career coach.
2025
Resonant human.
Ease.
Curiosity.
The opposite of control is resonance. (Note: This notion comes from the heart and brain of the German philosopher Harmut Rosa.)
Now I help people drop the control script and make themselves available for resonance with people and forces, both visible and invisible.
Resonance is personal, cosmic, and practical.
Presence over performance.
Enchantment over breakthroughs.
Less control--more resonance.
It's true, to make things happen in the world...
Control matters. Clock matters. Spreadsheets matter.
But so do poetry, philosophy, and pancakes.
Control feels responsible.
Control takes power.
Control looks like strong leadership.
Control hides disconnection.
Control burns you out.
Control doesn't lead.
But—
Resonance leads.
Resonance is clarity.
Resonance is trust.
Resonance is energy.
Resonance is connection.
Resonance is what makes it all beautiful.
Resonance is joy that happens to those who learn to accept, respect, and revel in the uncontrollability of the world.
